Friday, October 14, 2005

Slappy vs. The Cornwall Kid

Back in the 1800's when Slappy was touring England and enjoying all that Jack the Ripper hubbub, he met up with The Cornwall Kid. The Kid was a cretinous little dummy, prone to saying "how are ya?" and rolling his eyes around for comedic effect. Oh how Slappy would cringe in horror at The Kid's pathetic attempts at humor and ineffectual banter. Slappy wanted to stuff him into a stump grinder.

Though it did not seem to be possible, The Kid's master was even more of an imbecile than The Kid was. Monsieur Gadbois would prance around the stage with a long curly wig on his head, screaming "yuk yuk yuk" while dragging The Kid behind him in a wagon. Slappy was never quite sure what that was supposed to represent. The Kid assured him it was scathing social commentary based on the norms of society. Slappy, on the other hand, was convinced it that it was an unintentional bid to nail down the title of the Human Most Lacking Any Cranical Activity award.

Slappy grows tired many imbeciles....


Blogger Michelle said...

In thinking of Slappy, and of wigs, I found myself siezed by a mania of abject proportions and forced to realize my fantasies of Slappy wearing a wig.

Please find following links to two photos of Slappy:
as a blonde
as a redhead

Please pardon my mania. I have no control over it.

11:29 AM  
Blogger Calzone said...

Whoa..slappy you look hot. By the way ubermilf is talkin over at her site how adorable and cute you are...showin you no respect at all. I just ask that i can have her feet when you are done with her.

1:17 PM  
Blogger Slappy the Zombie said...

Not only shall you have her feet, but her shoes as well. Wait a minute.... Slappy thinks it is better to let her live the rest of her days in uneasiness, as well as to make her wear some bad wigs and seasonal costumes. Oh the terror...

1:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stump grinders make me horny.

4:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahem, that was me, minion Monica.

4:40 PM  
Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

Slappykins! I have your little chair ready! It has a red velvet seat, and looks just like a throne for my little Prince Slappykins!

And I bought you the cutest little pumpkin outfit. It has little green shoes that turn up at the toes!

You're going to look adorable!

I can't wait for the UberGirlies to meet you! Do you prefer bubble wrap or those styrofoam peanuts for packing?

12:30 PM  
Blogger Alistair! said...

mmmmmmmm dummies.

8:22 PM  
Blogger Monkey said...

Slappy.... the Jack the Ripper mystery was never solved.

Not sayin', just sayin'.

I didn't know you were being shipped to the Ubergirls! I guess that ad you put in the FAO Schwartz catalogue paid off.

7:57 PM  
Blogger Slappy the Zombie said...

Slappy is ready for his velvet chair because from it, he shall rule Slappytown. Slappytown is a scary place. Minion Monica waits for things to put into a stump grinder while Monkey throws bananas at Ubermilf as she sits in the stocks wearing her giant Rumplestiltskins costume. Truly it is a hideous sight, made all the worse by Calzone cruising for chicks while Michelle and Alistair race dune buggies on the slippery Slappytown speedway.

9:02 PM  
Blogger Alistair! said...

I like Dune Buggies. I have one, it is white with a big engine, it is good. I race and race and race and race and race and race and race...

9:05 PM  
Blogger Monica said...

mmmmmm, stumpgrinders.

*cackles while running with scissors*

12:01 PM  

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