Sunday, November 13, 2005

Don't Give Up on Slappy Baby

Slappy hates someone. Who could it be? Slappy will give you a clue. He used to be young and famous. He was very successful for a short period of time. He later found he was a one trick pony on his way to the glue factory and became bitter. He considers himself a multifaceted entertainer, but most us of consider him incredibly useless. Do you know who Slappy hates? Do you know who makes Slappy's skin crawl? Yes, I'm sure you do. Slappy hates David Soul

At this Slappy is sure that David Soul's fan will come out of the wood work proclaiming that Slappy knows nothing and is just jealous. Oh yes, for little wooden Slappy should be very jealous of large wooden David Soul. Yes David Soul fan, you have hit the nail upon it's proverbial head. Slappy is oh so jealous. He is so jealous he will ball his little wooden hands up into little wooden fists and smash them upon his bed while crying, "Why god, why? Why am I not the wooden man who used to be famous in the 70s by appearing on an arguably mediocre Spelling production of a detective show?"

Then Slappy will dry his tears and try not laugh hysterically and with great evil, thinking about poor David Soul and his sweet, sweet ballad about not giving up on us. Did you know that song was sung specifically for Slappy? ....Fools! Of course it wasn't! Slappy would not let an imbecile sing a song like that to him.


Blogger Satan said...

I udnerstand your hate Slappy but please remember to save a little hate for my good friend Pauly Shore.

9:07 PM  
Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

I think I read someplace that Pauly Shore and David Soul live in the same motel.

I think you should pay them both a visit.

Two knives. Two bags. Two times the fun.

9:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I bet you make phone calls

11:53 PM  
Blogger Calzone said...

Whoa..the David soul fans are already here with their rapier like wit. I wouldn't want to get in a rap off with any of them, thats for sure.

11:54 PM  
Anonymous Slappy Loves The Cock said...

David Soul Rules! Fuck You Guys!

12:20 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

If David Soul were here right now, he would kick your ass.

No, thats not true. He would acutally try to clean your windshield for some spare change.

12:29 AM  
Blogger Nick said...

And then take the change and put it in a sock and beat his wife with it.

And then go kill all th puppies.

1:38 PM  
Blogger Slappy the Zombie said...

After the witty word play the Soul Disciples directed at Slappy, he is overcome by a feeling that perhaps he was wrong about David Soul. Their arguments are so convincing, how could Slappy not change his mind?

Then again, after contemplating everyone elses remarks, Slappy feels they have more than negated the Soul Disciples spewage. Now Slappy will respond to your bedazzling pro-David Soul statements....

Imbeciles!! Slappy does not make phone calls. Slappy does not even have a phone. But he hears that David Soul makes multiple phone calls to Pauly Shore in the middle of the night.

Slappy did once tried to bag and tag David and Pauly, but they were so horrifying that even Slappy had to turn away. Shudder, he still gets the creeps when he thinks of it.

And yes, Slappy does like roosters, but finds it odd that you would mention it. It has nothing to do with David Soul - unless you're talking about some of his horrible hair grooming habits left over from the 1970s.

4:10 PM  
Blogger Zombie Lou said...

Lou Reed thinks that Slappy and him should start a "talking in the third person club".

Also, Lou Reed hates Pauly Shore.

4:30 PM  
Blogger Monkey said...

I would like to attend the club meetings of Lou Reed and Slappy. Oh yes, Monkey would like that.

Slappy... I have no words for you. My joy upon reading this post is boundless. Boundless I tell you!!

1:18 PM  
Blogger Slappy the Zombie said...

Slappy approves of Lou's idea. Slappy is surprised as he didn't think he would approve of anything a mere human would suggest, especially one who is a drug addled corpse that hates badly made pinatas.

Minion Monkey, you can attend the meetings of Lou and Slappy's Third Person Club if you agree to talk about yourself in the third person.

2:29 PM  

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