Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Freaks Just Wild About Slappy, And Slappys Mildly Lukewarm About Freaks

Slappy has found that when people stumble across his web site, it is often in the search for something odd. Slappy is not all that odd. He's like any other ventriloquist dummy - murderous and evil.

Slappy sees that people have recently found his blog by searching for the following:
  • monkey monocle
  • freaks anonymous dating
  • annoy the queen's guards
  • the dummy terror
  • slappy dolls
  • freaky hairstyles
  • merry death
  • sebastian cabot diary
  • how to wear monocle (Imbecile!.. it goes in your eye!)
  • jose eber secret hair
  • mister eddies father

Slappy figures that by putting all of these in one post, it will greatly increase his freak traffic. Slappy is never wrong. Slappy also figures that by adding the words hairspray, package, hinder, and mary poppins, his freak traffic will increase ten fold.

29 Comments:

Blogger Willy Jo said...

i was slappy my monkey to sum freaky dummy and found thisn heer blob. oh well i'll rub won off fer to yeah reel quick like and be on my way.

11:50 AM  
Blogger Tiffany Hilter said...

Uhhhhhhhhhh......... what is going on here? I think I'm in the wrong place.

10:34 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Hahahahaha!!! Nice hair, Tiffany.

11:05 AM  
Blogger Mr. Paul Freeman, CEO said...

TIFFANY!!! What are you doing posting over here? You should be working at your desk. I need those files by 3:00.

9:56 AM  
Blogger Calzone said...

Whoa!!! Tiffany is smnokin hot!!

1:27 PM  
Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

Slappy, come over here so I can brush your hair. Don't worry, I have the detangler you like.

2:38 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Dear Ubermilf, I think it's Tiffany you need to worry about. Or Mr. Freeman (the last I heard he had breathmints stuck in his hair).

10:33 AM  
Blogger King of Cake said...

You could also gain more hits by adding such marvelous phrases as:

spam cake
crottled greep
spank the monkey

11:47 AM  
Blogger Slappy the Zombie said...

Slappy does not spank monkeys or even spank humans. He does not want to even be near your pants. But please, keep wearing pants. I implore you to continue to be pants-ed.

I'm ready for my detangler now. But first let me extricate myself from Tiffany's jungle of hair.

12:47 PM  
Blogger Monkey said...

I never wear pants. My dimensions don't encourage it.

Allow me to increase freak traffic for you:

The package, swelling and ticking, released an odor reminiscent of strawberries and rotting navels. Alert guachos grabbed the package and stuffed it into Paris Hilton's vagina, thus saving an entire town from wholesale destruction. A cute pussy brought the guauchos some homegrown catnip and a bowl of milk as a thank you gift.

The end.

1:00 PM  
Blogger King of Cake said...

I am confused by all this talk of pants. My pants (at least the spare pair) are most certainly stuffed with frosting, to deter theft.

The idea of entrapment in Tiffany's hairy jungle makes my cakey soul quail in its sugary boots.

1:59 PM  
Blogger Monkey said...

Frosty pants wouldn't deter me from thievery. In fact... I feel most encouraged.

9:49 PM  
Blogger King of Cake said...

Eeek!

11:28 AM  
Blogger Richard said...

Sedu flat iron straightens, smoothes and tames frizzy or rebellious hair for long-lasting results. Now you can style your hair to look just like Jennifer Lopez - http://relreviews.com/jennifer_lopez_sedu_hair.html

10:03 AM  
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